Don’t Quit

About three decades ago when I was still a young pup around fifty years old, I was a member of an athletic club in Louisville. I went there three or four days a week to exercise. Yes, I had to hit the whirlpool afterwards even then. One day, as I ran, I reflected on something that I’d been vaguely aware of for many years. There is a point, even in conditioned athletes, when you feel like you don’t want to take another step. The feeling is lethargy, not exhaustion. It seems like you should go on, but you just don’t want to. Your body is asking why you’re punishing it. What is the reason? Why bother? Your side aches and your legs feel like Jell-o. For me, that point came about twenty-five or thirty minutes into a strong aerobic workout.

The trick was learning not to quit. It took will and discipline to go forward, but always, always, going past that point for a couple of minutes something returned to my body and my mind. Some people call it getting you second wind, and others call it hitting the wall and pushing through. I learned that I had that ability in the Marine Corps at the age of nineteen, But, we all have it. It’s part of our human will; we just need to activate it. On a good day, I felt as if I had stuck my finger in a light socket. My pulse evened out, my breathing became regular, and I finished my workout.

Despite my lifestyle excesses, I’ve been lucky to have longevity as a reward. But I’m firmly convinced I have almost reached the age of eighty without becoming frail along with my old age because of this discipline, this conscious effort to work through despair, physical and emotional, without giving in to the lethargy (i.e. lassitude, weariness, fatigue, indolence). I’m not special in any way. In fact, I’m very ordinary. I am like most people.

Today, I live in chaos, having reached that wall in life. I see no direction in society. My thoughts on moving forward are no longer clear. This is a direct result of watching this country elect incompetent fools, sycophants, crooks, and idiots to high government offices. I shouldn’t have to differentiate between political parties regarding candidates other than philosophies and core doctrines. Both political parties have always had people holding offices who, for one reason or another, are unqualified. It has always been up to me, as a voter to choose the candidate most qualified for the office regardless of party affiliation. However, the blatant hypocrisy and willingness to ignore laws that infect the current Republican party make it necessary, sadly. Their candidates would seem incompetent to me even for the county dog catcher based own their own actions and statements.

Living in America is like running a marathon now. It’s easy to lose sight of any reward, or even reasonableness. I’m out of breath trying to find my second wind. I know it’s there, even though it sometimes seems out of reach. I will gather it up eventually, and I’m determined to push on beyond the wall of ignorance, racism, thievery, and hatred that lies in my path. There is a return to Democracy and the ideals this country was built on at the finish line. I just have remind myself to keep up the struggle.